I had someone comment about what I meant on my last post and I thought I would share my response to kind of create a better picture of what I've been feeling...
"I was intrigued by something you said on your site...you mentioned something about backsliding, but I *think* I noticed you're Southern Baptist.  Did you mean this literally, or figuratively?  I only ask since most Baptists believe - and the church teaches - that you can't lose your salvation."
I do  believe that my salvation is firm and that I will not lose mysalvation.  It is God's wonderful gift to us, if only we accept it.  But~like some gifts that get unappreciated or tossed up in the closet, we can forget to lose sight of our salvation and and the price that Jesus paid for it.  What I meant was, God expects much of His children.  I've failed inhaving my quiet time with Him, I've allowed other things to come first when He should be first(for example this computer is one of my problems!)  I haven't lost my morals or values, I've simply lost perspective in life of what or who should be #1 in my life.  I know God should be, but I've lapsed in placing Him first.  It should be:

1.  God,
2.  My husband
3.  My children
4.  Everything else

God and my husband have been pushed on down the line.  I've also failed in turning everything over to God like I should and have tried to accomplish my problems or " wants" on my own.(Homeschooling, work, husband...)  I've prayed selfish prayers instead of prayers for God's will.  I know better than that.  Proverbs 3:5-6 says to, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy path."  Yet, I'm still finding it hard to leave everything to Him!  I know Satan works harder on Christians than anyone else ..he has definitely been knocking at my door these days.  I'm sure he is having a field day! I'm sorry!  I didn't mean to "preach" a sermon!  That's just what I meant by backsliding--if I am not fulfilling my duties as a Christian then I am saying that Jesus on the cross didn't mean a thing!  I know it was an ENORMOUS sacrifice-that is why I've been brow beating myself over getting my priorities back in line.

Life is still a whirlwind at our house.  Work is fine.  Homeschooling is wonderful.  Friends...well, I've kind of let them slip away at the moment.  Everyone is so busy...I am busy...and I hate to disturb my friends' busy lives!  Does that make sense?  Maybe I am becoming unsociable at the moment...making excuses or maybe I just stay so busy I don't want to go ONE MORE PLACE!  I almost talked myself out of going to Bible study on Friday, but I went anyway.  I am so glad I did!  It seems to remind me of what my purpose in life is and that I need to remember to leave everything in God's hands.  Why is that so hard?  Sometimes I feel like I am just going through the motions of being a christian.  God sent His ONLY Son to die on the cross for ME I should be more revved up for God than I am.  Satan seems to be lurking around me...really trying to get to me these days.  He loves it when we backslide.  I need to fight it more by praying, worshipping God, and reading God's word more.  That's my goal for the new year...to be doing what God requires of us BEFORE the new year arrives!

Ok, enough about me, who wants to read all negative stuff!

My sweet, precious, nine year old daughter, Hannah, woke me up at 08:30 Tuesday morning and begged me to go into the dining room to see what she had done for me.  I had just got home from working a 12 hour night shift at 06:30 a.m. and accidentally dozed on the couch after I got the other two girls ready for school.  Hannah and I had not gotten our school work out yet.  She takes me by the hand and instructs me to close my eyes. LOL...I'm still a little groggy and keep tripping!  That baby had made me breakfast!  How sweet was that!  She had cleaned off the dining room table---that's the first drop off point when we get home---everything hits the dining room table!  She had cooked me scrambled eggs, peanut butter toast(that's her favorite kind of toast) and made me a bowl of rice krispies cereal!  She dug out a placemat that she had made me a few years ago that said, "I love you" on it and had all my breakfast on it with orange juice to the side!  My eyes filled with tears!  Then, she told me that she made breakfast for me to let me know how much she loved me and that she loved being homeschooled.(My heart is really pounding by now!) Oh the tears were falling!  I'm just amazed at the sweetheart...words just can't describe!

Just had to share!

Hannah and Holleigh are at Tony's mom's spending the night.  Haleigh had to stay home because she was being punished .  She's in bed...fell asleep after I read 4 chapters of, The Lion, The Witch. and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis.  I was hoping she would fall asleep after about 4 pages!  Oh well...we enjoyed our time together--how is that for punishment!  We also went out to eat at The Catfish Wagon so she has done more than her two sisters and she was the one in trouble! lol

Hannah and I had a great school day.  I was supposed to work, but went to the e.r. and they sent me home...pink eye!  Yucky, yucky.  I've been washing my hands about every 5 minutes, but now it feels like I'm getting the crud in my other eye!  Usually, I pick this up from the girls.  None of my girls have it(YET) so I don't know where I got this mess. UGH!